The Luau
When Kirsten's sisters, Anouk and the Caitlin, visited us for Christmas they had two priorities. It doesn't take a smart man to work out that shopping is the first priority and they visited Ala Moana shopping centre maybe four times! The second priority was to attend a luau. I had been given at least three months notice that this was high on the wish list. I will be the first to admit that my interest factor was not high and I offered to dig a hole in the backyard and cook the pig in the traditional manner, after all I had managed the Turkey at Christmas. The hula girls presented a problem, however I was willing to buy Isabel and Inez grass skirts and coconut bras.
The Qantas jet arrived at Honolulu and as we picked the girls up at the airport they made their intention to attend a luau very clear. That very day I had no choice but to buy the tickets and accept the fact that I was going to attend my first luau, the only saving grace being the promise of unlimited Mai Tais. As we set out for our "authentic Hawaiian experience" I reflected on the irony of becoming resident and not tourist.
We arrived at Paradise Cove and any illusions of a small intimate luau was soon shattered by the 33 tour buses! Mai Tai number one was tactically presented at the entrance. Ever the cynic I soon found myself threading flowers on a piece of string, weaving grass to make headwear and searching for Mai Tai number two. Liam, Isabel and Inez couldn't get enough of the activities before dinner. Canoe rides, hula lessons, getting Dad to make leis or having Polynesian tattoos inked on various parts of their body. Their enjoyment was infectious!
After an eternity it was time to see the pig prepared. It is the first time I have ever sat in a grandstand to watch dinner extracted from the ground. It took a long stretch of the imagination to believe that one pig was going to feed the 1268 people present that evening. Maybe if I had been on my eighth and not fourth Mai Tai I might have been a believer. I have a sneaking suspicion that they have dug the same pig from the ground for the last seven years. Needless to say the buffet dinner was adequate but only because I was starving after two hours at the luau!
No luau would be complete without the hula dancing. The stage show was colourful, entertaining and met with every expectation that I would have of a Las Vegas stage show! What a disappointment, every cliche was trotted out and no Elvis. It often makes me wonder why you would be one of 23 couples that chose to spend the first night of wedded bliss at a luau? Surely there are better things to be doing on day one!
I survived! The Mai Tais were useful but in reality it was the enjoyment of the kids and Kirsten's sisters that made it worthwhile. However I warn future visitors that if you want to attend a luau I am more than willing to dig a hole in the backyard!
The Qantas jet arrived at Honolulu and as we picked the girls up at the airport they made their intention to attend a luau very clear. That very day I had no choice but to buy the tickets and accept the fact that I was going to attend my first luau, the only saving grace being the promise of unlimited Mai Tais. As we set out for our "authentic Hawaiian experience" I reflected on the irony of becoming resident and not tourist.
We arrived at Paradise Cove and any illusions of a small intimate luau was soon shattered by the 33 tour buses! Mai Tai number one was tactically presented at the entrance. Ever the cynic I soon found myself threading flowers on a piece of string, weaving grass to make headwear and searching for Mai Tai number two. Liam, Isabel and Inez couldn't get enough of the activities before dinner. Canoe rides, hula lessons, getting Dad to make leis or having Polynesian tattoos inked on various parts of their body. Their enjoyment was infectious!
After an eternity it was time to see the pig prepared. It is the first time I have ever sat in a grandstand to watch dinner extracted from the ground. It took a long stretch of the imagination to believe that one pig was going to feed the 1268 people present that evening. Maybe if I had been on my eighth and not fourth Mai Tai I might have been a believer. I have a sneaking suspicion that they have dug the same pig from the ground for the last seven years. Needless to say the buffet dinner was adequate but only because I was starving after two hours at the luau!
No luau would be complete without the hula dancing. The stage show was colourful, entertaining and met with every expectation that I would have of a Las Vegas stage show! What a disappointment, every cliche was trotted out and no Elvis. It often makes me wonder why you would be one of 23 couples that chose to spend the first night of wedded bliss at a luau? Surely there are better things to be doing on day one!
I survived! The Mai Tais were useful but in reality it was the enjoyment of the kids and Kirsten's sisters that made it worthwhile. However I warn future visitors that if you want to attend a luau I am more than willing to dig a hole in the backyard!
posted by Unknown at 23:20
3 Comments:
I don't know about sharing a pig with 1268 people, Backyard job will suffice.
RAS
I'm with Anouk & Caitlin! The mind boggles to think you haven't seen this traditional celebration first hand until now! Forget the pig, maybe just the Mai Tais.
EMG.
Rich,
I thought you would have some experience with pig in the ground whilst in PNG??
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